the y chromosome

women and anal sex

2006-11-07T22:49:00.000+11:00

Some women think that there's some sort of mental defect in men that makes them feel like it's necessary to poke their stick around a girls anal region. Why do guys like anal sex so much? Well, it's probably because that section is forbidden as compared to vaginas (considering our modern sexual mentality).

So if you're the lucky fella who gets to deflower a girls back door, then that makes you her "first" sort of. And as we all know it's just so much tighter back there .

Although many women have yet to feel comfortable letting you introduce the new and improved "doggy style" to them, many have already begun to delve into the kinky world of anal sex.

So what do women hate about anal sex, or better yet, what do they love about it?

Believe it or not, anal sex can be very pleasurable for women because the rectum shares a wall with the vagina, and the sexual nerves are actually closer on that side, which makes the sensation unique, stronger and quite possibly orgasmic . Lots of women think that anal sex is taboo and something only done in those "pizza guy" porn flicks. But in today's society of teen pregnancy, group sex, threesomes, and one-night stands, it's quite evident that anything goes... even rear-ending in the bedroom.

There is a popular saying that women try anal sex twice: once to see how it is and the second time to see if it was really that bad.

The following is what many women dislike (to say the least) about the anal aspect of things.

They feel powerless.

During anal sex, women virtually hand their sexual power over to their partners. So guys have the ability to prevent a woman's orgasms. And since penetration usually occurs from behind, you enter her sexually when she can't see you. Your penis doesn't have to come into contact with their sexual organs (vagina and all that good stuff), which ultimately leaves her sexual satisfaction in your hands (or penis as the case may be).

You can cause serious damage.

You can hurt women terribly when it comes to the anal aperture if you're not careful. Keep in mind that if you're not wary and penetrate a woman when she's not quite relaxed, you may end up finding Mr. Poopoo on the end of Mr. Willy, so be sensitive.

It hurts like hell

"So what? It hurts us too because it's so tight." Yeah, but whereas you're squeezing your skin-covered member into what feels like a solid canoli, remember that you are penetrating a portal that only disposes of waste. Most women aren't exactly thrilled at the prospect of having something that feels like a solid 8x13 kielbasa shoved into an area that only shares gifts with the toilet bowl.

Remember it's not a vagina; it doesn't secrete fluid. Unless your penis is soaked with the juice from her vagina, I suggest you use lubricant -- and lots of it -- otherwise, she'll jump up to the ceiling and dig her nails into the jip rock. No woman wants an insensitive man whose motives are selfishly induced.

Now on to the good stuff...

What do women love about anal sex?

New territory

Believe it or not, women are just as excited as you to be venturing into the anal aspect of sex. Yes, they may be apprehensive, but if you have all the right moves, you'll be getting two holes in one (for all you golf buffs) for as long as she's your woman. She may even end up preferring it from behind.

Finding fingers first

A caring guy starts slowly with his finger until his woman feels comfortable. Once she feels at ease with that, he'll apply plenty of lube and a condom when he ultimately penetrates her.

Rubbing the cheeks

If there's anything that can help women relax and feel at ease, it's when a man rubs their butt cheeks softly, spreading them and then squeezing them together. Don't just head for the hole and disregard the rest of her body; it's there for the taking... so take it.

Massaging her back, holding her waist

Giving the rest of her body sincere attention while penetrating her will work to both your advantage. Her rectal muscles will relax so that you could enter her more easily, and you'll enjoy the tight-yet-fitting entry, as well as her smooth skin.

Pain is sometimes pleasurable

In all honesty, why do you think women even let you near their behind if they know it's going to hurt? Because you've been begging? Because she thinks that her vagina's as loose as a porn star trying to set a record for the most partners in one night? No, it's because she wants to know how it feels too. She knows that pain is inevitable, but that's part of the thrill of it all.

It's very important to remember that everyone likes sex, but you should never be willing to die for it: ALWAYS WEAR A CONDOM. HIV and AIDS are more easily spread through anal sex than any other sexual act.

does size matter?

2006-11-07T22:36:00.000+11:00

Men love their penises. From the time he is born, a man's penis becomes his best friend . He will love it, fondle it, get mad at it (especially when it stops working), respect it, listen to its opinion, and get in trouble for it. Men are obsessed with their penises, even if they don't realize it. Most men live in constant fear that their manhood is not big enough. What they don't realize is that a recent study, involving 800 men of all shapes, races, and sizes, concluded that the average penis size is 5.5 inches .
So that's the size of an average penis. What's that sound? It's men all over the world breathing a sigh of relief. Now that this revelation has surfaced, let's get down to business.

How many times were you made fun of because your penis looked "shrunk"? Were you one of those guys who wouldn't shower after gym class because of embarrassment? You don't have to worry. Women don't care.

Who says size counts? A few months ago I was speaking with a friend who told me about one of her encounters with this wonderful lover. She described what they did in detail, and all this time I was wondering how big is this horse that my friend is sexing? Well guess what? He wasn't hung like a horse. As a matter of fact, he was more like a pony. This guy may not have had a big penis, but he certainly knew how to use his magic wand to please her and make her want him.

Women who feel that they aren't pretty or sexy enough because they have small breasts are like men who think that having big penises make them more manly and better lovers. The truth is that these men lack self-esteem and their self-worth is placed into their penises. Sure any woman would like to have a big thick bar to play with and suck on. It's like guys who are obsessed with big breasts.

Women simply don't care about size. There will be the odd ones who say it is very important, but they are usually the ones who love aggressive sex. For women, penises are marvelous toys, and no matter what they look like, they will excite women. Women do talk about their men's penises...often. But most of the time, the focus isn't on size; we focus more on what you did with it. In all honestly, we will spend more time talking about whether you wash yourself and smell good, rather than what it looks like.

Having a bigger organ doesn't hurt, but is it really important, when it comes down to having an intense lovemaking session with your partner(s)? In a recent poll taken among women, 82% agree that the quality of sex is much more important than quantity . In fact, many well hung men are known to be lousy lovers. First of all, if women feel comfortable with who you are, they will overlook penis size. If you are able to stimulate her with your personality , you need to do the same with your penis. Whether a penis is 4,6, or 8 inches, if used properly, it can satisfy her and give her an evening of passion and lust.

Men who are still put off by their size shouldn't let their "perceived" size cheat them out of life's best experiences. There are several things you can do to make the night memorable, and by the time it's over, you'll be in bed sweating and panting. The idea is to stay focused on the situation. Don't let your penis take over the night. Let your mind do it.

This is a bit off topic, but here are some tips for making love to women, especially if you feel your penis does not measure up (no pun intended).

Upon seeing an attractive woman, the first thing insecure men will say to themselves is, "when she sees my little friend I hope she doesn't laugh". Shame on you! . The first thing you should tell yourself is, "she's coming with me tonight, in more ways than one". (Side note: I assume most men out there approach women they are attracted to, so I won't talk about how to approach a woman. But here is a little hint: make great eye contact and smile).

Assuming that you score big time in the eye contact department, then what? Make your move to a private environment. Keep your mind on the situation and not what's in your pants. She's accepting the situation at hand, so you should do the same. Use your tongue to lick her face and neck while kissing her. Whisper in her ear how sexy she is, and how hot she makes you. While the situation intensifies, your mind will revert back to your manhood because you know the time for your pants to come off is pending. Just remember this...she's there with you because she wants to feel good and have a great time.

Undress her slowly while kissing and touching her and you'll notice her eyes closing and her heavy breathing. She will want to undress you, so let her remove your shirt and caress your body; but don't let her get too carried away. Remember to stay focused on the situation. If you don't feel comfortable enough to remove your pants and expose yourself, then perhaps you should prepare her.

Take her hand gently into yours and caress your chest down to your stomach, keep kissing her, and press your body against hers firmly. Then slowly keep your hand moving down your leg and up again, placing her hand right on your crotch. Move your hand on hers, letting her feel your penis.

By feeling it over your pants, she'll know what to expect. She'll get excited and will go for your belt. Let her kiss your stomach and chest while she unbuttons your pants and they drop to the floor. The moment your woman starts kissing you in the direction of your penis, you know she wants you . Congratulations gentlemen, you have her...and the rest is up to you, so give her a "Big O" feeling.

meeting her parents

2006-11-07T10:18:00.000+11:00

No two sets of parents are entirely alike, but they do share common goals: Protecting their little girl, and making it difficult for you -- the alien interloper -- to achieve your goal of winning them over. Every parent wants what’s best for their No. 1, so your very first step is to treat your lady right, in ways no parent could resist. Their initial impression of you comes directly from her, so never give her a reason to trash you.

In all you do.. Show, don’t tell. If effectively displayed, most people don’t need to be told anything. Her parents have endured the phony prattle of boastful men before you; they want to see for themselves what makes you perfect for their daughter. Thus, let your actions represent you.

Finally, we tend to treat couples married for many years as a unit, yet a key to winning over her parents lies in building independent relationships with each of them. This is especially true if her parents are divorced.

Show discretion and confidence

Prior to meeting her parents, have your girlfriend prep you on areas of common interest and taboo topics; it’s on you to exploit whatever ground you may share. Avoid emotional or highly charged issues; reserve your strong opinions for when you know them better.

If necessary, arm yourself with assured answers to the kinds of questions a parent might ask, such as “Where do you see yourself in five years?” No, this is not a job interview; in fact, the stakes are much higher.

Show respect and restraint

Strictly speaking, put your manners on full display: When around her parents, treat them with the utmost respect, and when not, speak well of them. When they come to your door, be there to greet them and welcome them in. At their place, get up and do the dishes after dinner and make sure to go easy on the liquor. Last but not least, until they tell you otherwise, they're Mr. and Mrs. Girlfriend to you.

Show initiative and interest

Make the first move and invite them to dinner at your place. You can stress the importance of this meeting by making it formal. Either way, it’s a great chance to show them your financial situation, interests, lifestyle, or your ability to cook and keep a nice place, without having to say a word.

At their place, ask to be guided through family photo albums. Showing a genuine interest in your girl’s family and a clear interest in her history can only inspire. She’s her parents’ pride and joy; they love showing her off and relating the details of her childhood.

Show creativity and attention

Eschew the obvious -- like flowers -- and bring a few photos of you and your girlfriend having a good time together to your first meeting. Pictures act as brilliant conversation starters, and they can help drive home your compatibility -- always a key to winning them over.

On that note, provided your first meeting with them is along the lines of dinner or another event, bring a camera. This suggests you regard the evening as significant solely because you are to meet them and you want to preserve it in a picture.

Her father

A woman's father sees himself as her armor and he has reason to be on guard. After all, he was once just like you: green and deluded by his own cleverness in aiming to defile daddy’s little girl. But today he has one thing you don’t: the realization that those fathers knew his moves and motives just like he knows yours. He will protect his little girl at any expense, and until you can win him over, you aren’t his friend.

Seek ways to connect with him man to man. Naturally you shouldn’t propose scoring lap dances at a strip club, but you should strive for him to identify you as a respectable fellow member of the male clan. If he’s a baseball fan, suggest you two attend a game, or invite him over for a game and a casual barbecue with one or two of your friends. Let him see you in your element, operating on full dude throttle. Until you can show him who you are independent of his daughter, he may always regard you with suspicion and treat you as a competitive threat.

Consider going to him for his opinion or advice. Steer clear of anything too personal or that relates to your relationship with his daughter. This goes for mom too. Most people enjoy sharing their wisdom or experience. Whether you take it or not, asking for advice is a sign of esteem and it helps build bonds. Parents appreciate feeling like they still retain some sway or prestige in their daughter’s life.

Her mother

Never underestimate her influence: In her mother you face your toughest and potentially most vocal critic. Her principle image of you, built on words from her daughter, is far too complete for comfort. You stand little chance against it, since she can’t possibly see all the reasons your girl’s crazy about you. It’s your job, and yours alone, to show her.

Forget the flawed notion of looking at a girl’s mother to see the girl in 20 years. Instead, imagine that the mother is looking at her daughter and seeing herself 20 years ago. She wants to see that girl madly in love, ecstatically happy and treated like the royalty her daughter surely is.

She will interpret how you treat her daughter by how you treat her, so relate to her on two levels. Most of the time she is a mature parent and your elder, and to this woman you show courtesy and respect bordering on genuflection. But she’s also that girl from 20 years ago: wickedly fun and flirty, and forever receptive to the attentions of a charming man. Work to draw one solid, respectful line in the sand while simultaneously stretching a foot forward to blur another. Let the playful accusations of a harmless crush going in either direction roll right off your back.
win them overGet some help from your girl, trust yourself and your instincts, and dive in. You can only do so much to win over her parents, and you should only do so much; beyond that, it’s out of your hands. At least your girl will appreciate your efforts, especially when it comes time to meet your parents.

how to kiss a woman

2006-11-07T01:30:00.000+11:00

Never underestimate the power of the perfect kiss. Get it right, and the rest will fall into place.

It has been theorized that a woman decided within five minutes of meeting a man whether or not she will have sex with him. Possibly true, but there is one catch. Most women I know, myself included, may initially decide we'll have sex with a guy, but when we find out he's a bad or a mediocre kisser, we change our minds entirely. We decide we will never have sex with this guy. He won't even get asked for a nightcap, much less for breakfast the next morning. As our lips part while we stand on the doorstep, we will announce that we have an early-morning meeting or (if you were really awful) that we're actually already married to someone else.

What we will never, ever say is, "God, you're a lousy kisser. I was going to have sex with you until just this moment." This is one of the ways in which men and women differ. If a man is very attracted to a woman but discovers she's a bad or mediocre kisser, he'll probably have sex with her anyway if presented with the opportunity. A woman can't get past a bad kiss. (Unless, of course, she's a horrible kisser herself, but we're not talking about those women here.) Experience has shown most women that a bad kiss only spells trouble down the road, so to speak. After all, if he hasn't mastered kissing and fails to see its sensual possibilities, what hope is there for, ahem, anything else?

The disappointment of a bad kiss is a recurring topic of discussion among a group of single women I run with in the park several times a week. "It tuens into a fabric softener thing," says Nora, a blond from Dallas, when describing the previous night's date. "You know, where the guy kisses you and it's so bad but you've got to finish it up so your mind wanders and you start wondering if you have enough fabric softener to do two loads of laundry the next day?" She laughs. "So I'm thinking about that, and the guy says, "Wow! You're very passionate."

Oh, the egos we would crush if men could hear the post-mortems. If any guys happen to be running with us, they immediately demand to know what exactly constitutes a bad or good kisser. So we tell them about the all-purpose litmus test: A bad kisser, reguardless of whether he likes to secrete a gallon of drool or waggle his head like a dog menacing a bone, seems to be simultaneously thinking: " When can we get to step two? And three and four? Is she aroused yet? can I put my hand on her breast now?" He sees kissing as the next step on a carnal quest. The good kisser, however, sees the kiss as the destination itself. He kisses as if he will never do anything else with this woman, as if he never wants to do anything else with this woman. He kisses as if this is what he's been dying to do for years and he wants to savor every moment. I guarentee you that this is when the woman decides there will be other activities on the agenda.

The first thing to remember: When in Doubt, Go Slowly. make that first kiss slow and gentle and easy. While you may want to demonstrate that you're a cauldron of seething desire, save that for later, when you're both sufficiently warmed up. In the meantime, resist the urge to mash your face against hers so hard your teeth collide and she ends up with brush burns from your stubble. One woman in our running group actually passed out during a particularly bad kiss of this sort, when the man pressed his face to hers so tightly he blocked off her nose with his cheek, mistook her thrshing for passion, and suddenly felt her body go limp. "i was out for maybe thrity seconds," she says. "Fortunately, he had me in a bear hug, so I didn't hit the group. Of course, he thought I passed out because the kiss was so good." This is what's known as the Harrison Ford School of Making Out. Watch him in the movies,a nd watch his costar's face get twisted out of shape from the sheer force. this is also why they're panting afterward. It's not from desire, it's oxygen deprivation. So the second thing to remember while kissing is to make sure she can still breathe through her nose.

There are other movie stars who perpetuate bad kissing styles. There's the Tom Cruise Method (as seen in Top Gun), whereby his tongue is already slithering out before he's met her lips. This is also referred to as the Lizard-King Style, and once lip-locked, it may also feature the rather grotesque tongue-insterted-rapidly-in-and-out. Most women do not cherish the idea of kissing a large anaconda, which is what this must be similar to. Equally unappealing is when the guy's tongue seems to be on a thorough search for any food trapped between the woman's molars. This is her tongue's job, not yours. The only response possible is for the woman to open her mouth wide and remain motionless while he finishes his routing, a posture that calls to mind trips to the dentist.

Like good sex and great dancing, any tongue action should involve a give-and-take, with both parties allowed the opportunity for interaction in a saliva-laden minuet. Get into a groove with this, and every now and then you may want to stop for a short time while still joined at thelips. Like being on a dance floor and suddenly holding your partner motionless, it can have the galvanizing effect of heightening the sensation. this is ideally practiced in places like a dark booth in a dive bar with a great jukebox. Just make sure your sleeve doesn't catch fire from the candle on the table.

So although no one wants a tongue completely jammed down her throat, neither do we want its exact opposite, as favored by Woody Allen, one of the screen's all-time-worst kissers. Check out the last scene in Hannah and Her Sisters, and you'll see him pecking away at Dianne Wiest. This Road-runner-eats-birdseed style of dry, repeated kisses accompanied by inordinately loud smacky sounds is not what any woman fantasizes about--even if she's weird enough to fantasize about kissing Woody Allen. The occasional smacky sound is inevitable and can exciting, but go easy on the moaning and groaning. Its sounds fake at best and, at worst, like an unconscious habit, like tuneless whistling.

Daniel Day-Lewis belongs in the kissing hall of fame for Best Use of Hands. He gently caresses his costar's face and touches her hair, a model of how hands can increase the erotic pleasure of the moment. Bear in mind the hands should not be used to prevent the woman from going anywhere or to clamp her head into one uncomfortable position. Remember most women like men to toy gently with their hair. After decades of bad press about sticky hairsprays and helmet hair, most of us have been using products to enhance "touchability" and are favoring hairstyles that look good a bit tousled. So go ahead and touch hair. And quit using all that sticky hairspray and goo so we can go back to touching yours.

Finally, I offer this suggestion: Try opening your eyes. I once cautiously opened my eyes while kissing and saw a pair of brown eyes staring back at me, which made the kiss even better because it became more intimate. Some people find this to be an impossible task (like sneezing with your eyes open), but while the prevailing belief is that we must try to block out all other sensations, you may find that kissing with your eyes open is the sensual equivalent of making love with the lights on. And if you're going to be kissing for several hours in a make-out bar, it's a good idea to peek periodically at the where-abouts of your drinks, her purse, and your wallet.

how to get back together with your ex-girlfriend / wife

2006-11-07T01:16:00.000+11:00

If your significant other breaks up with you, two of the best things you can do to get her back are:

1- Act like you're okay with her decision to leave.
2- Start dating other people and let her know about it.

Actually there is one other point.. BE HAPPY! really be happy, there is nothing more attractive than someone who is really happy.

This combination alone is usually enough to make her come back to you.

Jealousy is powerful . It's far more powerful than most people suspect.

A situation where girl "A" didn't have any feelings for you until she saw you with girl "B" is the rule , not the exception.

Jealousy causes people to do crazy things and feel very powerful emotions... from love to hate.

Trying to "get her back" is a losing game in most situations, because the act alone suggests that you're needy (especially when you don't even know a woman very well, and you're trying to "get her back" after one or two dates).

The best thing to do is get on with your life, then call your ex-girlfriend or wife in a month or two to see if she wants to have coffee.

Don't talk about heavy things, and don't mention anything about what happened. Just be casual.

choosing a cologne

2006-11-06T15:30:00.000+11:00

No cologne at all is better then a bad smelling cologne. So if you choose to have cologne, spend some time to get a good one. Here are four suggestions on choosing your Cologne.

1) Treat cologne just like you would treat shoes/boots, clothing, hairstyle etc... Pick something that is different, that stands out above the rest. Why wear Tommy Hilfiger, Polo Ralph Lauren, CK Eternity, or any other 'recognizable' cologne? If you do, you're joined by all the teeny boppers just coming of age who are still learning how to shave. Pick something unique that distinguishes you. If she has to ask you what scent it is you're wearing, you know you're on the right track.

2) It gets more complicated. Different colognes react differently with each person's body chemistry. This means the cologne that smells irresistible on your best friend might not smell the same on you. Unfortunately, there's some trial and error involved. It's also why spraying into the air or on a card may be misleading when making your choice. Always test on yourself.

3) A good cologne is one you can't smell on yourself after a while, but other people still can. So if it seems to have fizzled out after 10 minutes, don't assume that is actually the case... Don't panic when you lose the smell. If you keep reapplying, you'll be the male equivalent of the old lady at church who wears the whole damn bottle and chokes you to death.

4) Different scents convey different personalities. My favorite, Bvlgari. It always gets comments that I smell sophisticated and classy. The musky, spicy scents like Lagerfeld, Pi, etc are very masculine and powerful and what girl doesn't like that? The aqua scents like Aqua Di Gio and all its equally as effective knockoffs put out a sporty, clean, fun vibe... Start with your personality and self-image and then choose a cologne from the sort of category that matches it best.

overcoming her resistance

2006-11-06T14:59:00.000+11:00

So you wind up being in bed together. Now it’s time to get physical; more then just the casual touch at the date. Here is how to escalate the touch without resistance. And if you still meet resistance, what to do about it.

The key to touch escalation is not in giving it but taking it away. It’s also about combining the touches with saying things that will convey to her that you are trying to push her away.

So to prevent resistance, touch her, then stop and talk like everything is normal. After, touch her a little more, but then take it away. Talk normal a bit more. Then continue to touch her even more. It’s like you push and then pull away; escalating the touch.

Moreover, if you are kissing her, don’t keep going. Stop, and say: “we should stop. I’m trying so hard not to kiss you. You're corrupting me, or we're so bad?” Say this while you are continuing to touch her. It’s the foreplay women need.

See, this will put into her head that she is seducing you. It’s the way to flip the screen/chase switch, and it’s necessary to amplify the desire of a women to sleep with you. If you don’t, her Slut-factor will prevent any physical escalation.

If you touch her and then stop, it’s like a double push pull; it’s like a spiral in her mind that will further suck her into your rabbit hole.

And what about when you encounter a woman who is still resisting any escalation? Most important, don’t act upset in any way; just be bland. Get up, put the lights on, blow out the candles and watch some TV. Say something like: "You know what, you would make such a great friend." Then, do things that will bore her. This is what is called the freeze out; a very effective technique to overcome final resistance. It will result with her trying to get you back into bed, and getting it wild.

stay in control and keep her interested

2006-11-06T14:38:00.000+11:00

Have you ever been with a woman that really upset you?

Have you ever had a woman totally confuse you to the point of losing your temper with her?

Have you ever been so perplexed by a woman’s changing moods that you were driven totally up the wall?

If you’ve answered “yes” to any of these questions, you’ve failed her evolutionary tests.

These tests aren’t conscious.

In fact, she’s totally unaware of it.

Women have something in their nature that makes them TEST you.

It is hardwired into them.

Their instincts direct them to find a strong, dominant male who doesn’t lose his cool when exposed to her ever changing moods, whims and desires.

They want to see if you’ll fold under pressure, freak out, or leave a situation (actually her) if she pisses you off or annoys you.

Will you stay when she acts... Feminine?

When she changes her mind?

When she acts irrational?

When she is illogical?

When she acts like a totally spoiled brat?

When her words confuse you?

As soon as you respond to any her tests by losing your temper, she will know that she has the upper hand and now can manipulate you.

Not only does she have the upper hand and is now capable of manipulating you, but something far worse has happened.

You are now, in her mind, fatefully categorized as sub-male… a beta.

A beta man who is easily manipulated is not attractive to women.

Men who are not as easily manipulated affected by her sometimes confusing, annoying, or even rude behavior cause women to feel attracted in a very powerful way.

An unphasable man who she can’t manipulate is instantly attractive to any woman.

Think of all the so called jerks you’ve seen out there with some of the hottest women.

They don’t care.

Their state is relaxed, calm, of low energy.

Relaxed…

They don’t worry….

These men always remain calm in the face of possible anger. They don’t let anything phase them.

They allow any perceived or overt insult to slip by and turn it around on HER.

This doesn’t mean they lose your spine and have them walk all over them or anything.

They simply don’t react in the same way a beta would.

Many times, they naturally recognize these fits of hers, and you’ll see a sly smile on his face.

They have no problem putting them in their place, and do so accordingly. They just never lose their temper while doing it. Think of James Bond. He NEVER loses it. He always remains cool.

Anything he does is done with a slight smile and/or sarcastic smirk. Women cannot help themselves around a man who acts this way.

They can’t help themselves around a man that stands his ground and revels in HER femininity.

This type of man trusts himself.

He’s cool about the whole thing.

When you get good at this, women will use even more types of unconscious, and sometimes conscious testing tactics to bait you into an argument or friction to see how you react… to see if you’re the real thing.

Sometimes, for you, the solution to this can be as simple as ignoring any conversational thread that’s aimed to bait you into arguing.

As a man, you have to remain in complete control. It isn't about who's right or wrong. If she gets out of line, you have to steer her in the right direction with your reactions.

Never get trapped by a woman’s tests, and all women will come to respect you and never want to leave your graces.

curing premature ejaculation

2006-11-03T15:54:00.000+11:00

According to University of Chicago sociologist Edward Laumann, lead author of a comprehensive new US sex study, 31% of men and 43% of women suffer from some form of sexual dysfunction.
The study, published last year in the Journal of the American Medical Association, was based on data from the 1992 National Health and Social Life Survey, a collection of interviews with 1,749 women and 1,410 men aged 18 to 59.

One-third of men said they had recurring problems with premature ejaculation, 14 percent said they had no interest in sex and 8 percent said they regularly experienced no pleasure from sex.
Women, on the other hand, were a different story. A third said they regularly didn't want sex, 26 percent said they regularly didn't reach orgasm and 23 percent said sex was not pleasurable.

In both sexes, these problems were attributed to emotional and stress problems including poor health, poor quality of life and prior traumatic sexual experiences.
Although premature ejaculation is the most common sexual dysfunction, it is very difficult for men to discuss. A man who can't get it up or keep it up, understandably feels like less of a man. However, it should not be this way. If more men were willing to talk about their problem, it would be easier to accept, knowing that they are not alone.

Often, men are not sure what is considered premature ejaculation. The average male takes less than 3 minutes from the time of insertion till he ejaculates.
According to the technical definition, it is ejaculation that occurs prior to when a man wishes, or too quickly during intercourse to satisfy the partner. This usually leads to the loss of a usable erection for the simple reason that their discharge has temporarily released a state of elevated sexual tension.

Although the complaint is usually stated in terms of time, this is because it is the only way to measure and compare. The issue, however, is really about control of the ejaculatory process and releasing when you feel ready. Men are usually more upset about the lack of a vote or influence over when they ejaculate.
One man might feel proud to last ten minutes, while this may be too short for another. Like the saying goes, one man's trash is another man's treasure .

From the point of view of reproduction, early release is not a major problem. Lasting longer in bed serves no known genetic function. It is something that we must learn to do, as opposed to being innate.

First, one must understand what is happening to his body when he ejaculates. Orgasm consists of two stages. The first begins with the prostate gland, which encircles the urethra like a tiny donut above the base of the penis. This contracts and releases its fluids, along with the contents of the seminal vesicle, into the urethra.
The second phase occurs when the pelvic muscle contracts strongly around the bulb, forcing the fluid out under considerable pressure. Men should be aware that it is possible to ejaculate without having an orgasm and vice versa.

The good news is that this is a problem that is highly curable, providing the man is willing to get help and invest the time and effort needed. It is believed that 80-90% of men are able to learn better control through therapy.

The first step to lasting longer is to become familiar with one's self. Be comfortable with your body, its sensations and the feelings leading up to orgasm. You should learn and be able to predict when the orgasm will occur. This will prevent it from creeping up on you and taking you by surprise. This will also help you do what is necessary to prevent you from reaching that "point of no return."

The "stop and start" method involves bringing yourself just before the point of no return, and stopping all movement before it is too late. When the urgency to ejaculate subsides, start thrusting again, and repeat several times.
This can also be practiced using your partner's hand, mouth or even by yourself. It may require some trial and error, as you may pass that point accidentally.

Many people are not aware of it, but proper breathing can help develop ejaculatory control. This is because taking a few deep breaths can help you relax and calm the arousal and tension that leads to premature ejaculation. Practice deep, easy, relaxed breathing and relax your entire body.

Communication is another key to long-lasting sex. Let your partner know when you are getting close and what you can and cannot handle. This will involve the use of actual words, since non-verbal cues are easily misunderstood. "Stop," "Hold it," "Start," and "More," are obvious choices and anything else that's short and clear, is acceptable.

Other causes of premature ejaculation are anxiety, fear or discomfort with your partner. premature ejaculation is less likely to occur if the couple knows each other well; feels comfortable with one another; both partners are consenting; in a comfortable, relaxed and private setting; and after contraception issues have been discussed.

Many men can also last longer the second time around, so perhaps this can be incorporated into your love-making. If round one is short, please her with some extended foreplay using your mouth, or with an erotic massage during half-time until your soldier is ready for battle once again.

Desensitizing creams lessen the sensations felt by men during intercourse so that they can last longer. The problem that many men feel is that these creams make intercourse less pleasurable due to the decreased stimulation.

Condoms reduce the amount of stimulation experienced during sex. Many men find that a condom makes them last longer because of the decreased stimulation. As you all know, condoms provide the best protection against STDs and pregnancy, so they have added benefits.

The position of lovemaking may also affect a man's ability to last in bed. The 'missionary' position, with the man on top, is not the best position while attempting to control ejaculation. All men, however, are different and some men find it harder to hold themselves when their partner is in control.

Experiment and vary the positions according to what allows you to control yourself better.

Finally, strong, well developed pelvic muscles will allow you better control and make you more aware of what is happening in your nether regions. Pelvic floor muscles are the ones used to stop and start urination. Hold the muscles for three seconds, relax for three seconds, and repeat ten times.
You can do this at anytime and in anyplace. Eventually, you should be able to work your way up to 100 ten-second contractions per day.

Premature ejaculation can be easily countered with patience, effort and knowledge. Informing yourself is the first step, and once you know about the problem, you are halfway there. Overcoming the mental and physical aspects of this problems are also much easier if both partners are involved, aware of the situation and open to discuss it.

Handshaking tips

2006-11-03T15:38:00.000+11:00

You're probably aware of the importance of making a good first impression, right? Once an employer has evaluated the way you present yourself, what's the next thing you will be judged on? That's right, your handshake. Make sure your handshake is firm and dry; this will allow you to make a good first impression. I have shaken a lot of hands in my career and can now group them into five categories based on different characteristics. Insights will be given on what handshakes project confidence and which ones don't for each of these categories.

The Wet Handshake

There are many repulsive handshakes, the wet one probably being the worst handshake around, so try to keep your palms dry. People get nervous, especially before an interview, so just remember to keep your hands dry and wipe your sweaty palms.

Here are two tips in order to keep your hands dry.

1. Wash your hands before going to the interview and keep your palms open until the time comes to shake hands with the employer. Make sure not to close your fists, because that's what generates the heat and sweat.
2. Wipe your hands before the handshake. Carry a Kleenex to wipe your hands, as this will help you absorb the excess moisture and allow you to give a dry handshake.

The Soft Handshake

A soft handshake demonstrates weakness, lack of confidence, lack of interest, and lack of masculinity. These are obviously the opposites of power and strength, important attributes in respected and successful people. I would suggest that if you do have a weak handshake, firm it up. This will definitely leave a better impression every time you shake hands. Pay attention to how much pressure is applied by the receiver and notice if your handshake is firm enough, then adjust yours accordingly.

The Finger Shake

I am sure this happened to you before. Someone takes your four fingers, not allowing you to really lock your hand with theirs, and then squeezes your hand hard. That is really frustrating and should be avoided. This can happen easily when rushed or simply by accident. My advice to you is to apologize and ask the person for a second handshake. It might sound awkward, but people actually remember this and will appreciate the respect derived from a real quality handshake.

The Squeezer

This type of handshake is classic. You know how guys and their egos are; they have to be the strongest male around. Some guys really like to squeeze your hand as if it was a lemon. Don't get me wrong, I like a sturdy handshake, but it has to be comfortable to the receiver to some degree. Just save your testosterone for the gym and moderate your grip.

Yo Dude!

These days, people need a manual to decode some of those weird handshakes. I see kids twiddling, slapping, clicking, and dancing with their fingers, and they actually consider these handshakes. Please grow up and be men. No more hocus pocus; a simple, firm handshake, will do fine.

A handshake is a very simple gesture, but can be a determining factor in interviews and social gatherings. Just make sure you firmly shake the person's hand and look at them straight in the eye. This is a simple, yet effective tip which will hopefully allow you to make a great first impression.

how to break up

2006-11-03T11:32:00.000+11:00

When a relationship is on its last leg and a break up is inevitable, who ends it? Recognizing that her habits have become annoying instead of cute is just the start. Her rude cell phone calls mid-meal, the way she thinks she's always right, and her complete lack of respect for your opinion should all be sending you a clear message. Relationships often go bad -- and stay that way. Even when both people know that they would be happier with someone else, it's human nature to procrastinate about difficult decisions. So rather than riding inertia's wave, use these seven helpful tips to break up and move on.

1- Make her the first to know
Out of respect for her, never tell your friends you're going to break up before telling her it's over. It's a simple thing women consider sacred. The all too connected grapevine is not the place she should or deserves to be told that you're no longer interested. You could discuss some relationship problems you're having with your buddies, but your final decision to break up with her should remain private.
Use your judgment to decide which day would be best to break the news to her. If she's very emotional and you think that you'll break her heart, try to do it on a Friday. This will give her the weekend to recover and spend time with friends. But if she's the type to plow through full steam ahead, then perhaps Monday would be best. This will ensure that her busy workweek will keep her mind off the break up and you.
Remember that there will be no "perfect time" to end the relationship. The best thing to do is set a random Monday or Friday to break up -- and stick to it.

2- Find a neutral zone
It's not fair to end the relationship at your place, nor should you be forced to see a picture of you and her hugging on her fridge. Try to find a neutral space where both of you would be comfortable to express your feelings, like a park. At least there you can walk and talk, or maybe even find a more secluded spot.
A restaurant, on the other hand, is a bad choice. If she makes a scene, there's no respectful recovery and no quick way out. But fear of embarrassment is never a reason to leave her in the middle of nowhere. No matter how emotional and heated the conversation gets, there's no excuse for risking her safety or yours.

3- End it in person
If you've lost that loving feeling, be courteous and tell her face-to-face. Phone calls and e-mail are fine for small talk, but this is a big issue. It's natural to want as much distance as possible between you and her when you break the bad news, but in this case, fight your instincts and have the decency to say it to her face.

4- Keep it simple
There's no need to put her through the history of your decision to break up. She does deserve an explanation, but save her (and yourself) the long-winded reasons of exactly why and how things went sour. Be clear about the fact that you feel the relationship is at an end, but balance that crystal clear reality with a significant dose of regret.
It's important to let her know that the decision to split up is difficult for you too. By letting this be known, you make a soon to be ex-girlfriend a friend in mutual sorrow. A few words to the wise: don't say you're going to call if you're not going to. Part of keeping it simple also includes ending it smoothly -- be fair to both you and her.
If you're unclear about how you're ending it with her, it could result in a dragged out breakup. Don't break up in stages -- if you want to sever the ties, there's no time like the present.

5- Get her to see your point of view
Who can argue with logic? You're probably not the only one that's been feeling the relationship going downhill. A dose of reality might be just what the doctor ordered to get her to accept what it is you need to say -- and do -- about it. A good way to get her to understand why you and she aren't best suited for one another is through a simple example. But make sure you get her to start the ball rolling.
Ask her if she's been feeling the lag in your relationship. She'll probably have quite a few examples about why things haven't been working out. Letting her talk it through will help her see why you brought the topic up in the first place.

6- Don't change your mind
There's a big reason why you made the decision to confront her with the end of your relationship. She may argue, cry or even "not understand why you're doing this," but be sure and stick to your guns. There's nothing worse than a flip-flop relationship -- you're either in or out. So make sure you have rebuttals for all her potential comebacks.

7- Be ready for tears
Whether she's glad you said something or not, chances are tears will be shed. Ending a relationship can bring intense emotion and she's not about to save you from seeing it all pour out at once. When she does start to cry, be sympathetic but don't be drawn in by an overflow of powerful emotion. Be an emotional rock.
Make sure to have plans set with friends later that day. This will ensure that the breakup process isn't dragged on longer than necessary and that you're not alone if you feel bad about what just happened.

Ending a relationship is never easy. But having the courage to follow through with your decision will make both you and her happier when the relationship has already passed its "best before" date. Be true to your emotions and do what's best for you, and her.

how to propose

2006-11-03T11:25:00.000+11:00

Very few events in anyone's lifetime require as much thought and preparation as marriage. People want their proposals to be the perfect point of culmination in their relationship. Men and women both want this day to be a truly memorable moment in their lives. But it seems that there are no new ways to get married anymore because virtually everything has been done.

Well, guess again.

We can all think of typical ways of asking our lovely girlfriends to marry us. The man gets down on one knee and gets out a box with a ring (probably worth a month's salary) before asking her to spend the rest of her life by his side. This traditional way of proposing still works, and can be categorized as the conventional way of asking a woman to marry you. But these days, women want to be mesmerized with emotion, romanticism and originality. And not necessarily in that order either.

The following are a mix of both innovative and more traditional ways to pop the question.

1. To the extreme
If your woman is the sporty type, you can propose to her from the heights of a mountain after a day of rock climbing. Other possibilities would be during a parachute jump or a scuba-diving session in South America, or anywhere else for that matter.

2. Make a video
Making a personal video of yourself proposing to her can have a great effect, especially if you are watching it with her. She will likely jump from joy and want to skip straight to the honeymoon...

3. In mid-air
A more public display of affection is to have the captain of an airplane you are on recite your marriage proposal to your woman over the intercom. You can just picture it: "We are now flying over the Grand Canyon and will be arriving at our destination in approximately 45 minutes. And, by the way, Joanna, Michael would like to know if you would do him the honor of marrying him."
Of course, after this, all you should hope for is a "yes" and a safe landing.

4. My way or the highway
Just imagine driving home from work and seeing a billboard that says "Lucy, will you marry me?" This will have an amplified effect, and the rest of the commuters who see it will hope it works out for you.
They will also hope that she doesn't slam the brakes in excitement.

5. Marriage on the big screen
Let's say you agreed to go see the latest Julia Roberts movie, and right before the movie is about to start, as part of the previews, one frame action simply displays the words: "Maria, will you be my wife?"
Although this is not likely to win you an Oscar nomination, it will certainly go down in the annals of history for best dramatic sequence.

6. Raindrops falling on my head
The Canadian Niagara Falls are an ever popular destination for honeymooners, but few people actually think of it as a great place to ask for your girlfriend's everlasting love.

7. Vegas-Style
Ever thought of going to Sin City to prove your love to each other? This is still one of the most popular locations for couples to get married. But who says you can't get engaged over a game of roulette at the Caesar's Palace?

8. Valentine's Day surprise
Instead of offering a traditional card, flowers and chocolates, why not offer her the greatest sign of love by asking her to marry you? Your girlfriend will surely remember this holiday for the rest of her life.
The only bad part is that it will be hard to surpass this gift every following year.

9. Indecent proposal
The ultimate way to ask your woman to marry you would be during an intense lovemaking session. Popping the question while bringing her to ecstasy is one of the ultimate thrills for a woman.
Imagine your woman climaxing physically and emotionally. She is not likely to forget that day anytime soon.

10. The love police
Although this one requires quite a bit of work and coordination, getting your girlfriend pulled over by a real cop to give her a "love ticket" is quite unexpected and very original.
Just make sure any outstanding parking tickets are taken care of beforehand.

11. Happy birthday to us
Proposing to her on her birthday is another great way to go about it. And another positive aspect of it, she probably won't notice that you forgot to get her a birthday present.

12. You've got love mail
The Internet era is upon us, driving us to adapt to the technology. So why not send her a love note by email along with the big question?

13. Radio dedication
If you know she listens to the radio at a certain time everyday, making a dedication will work charms with her. Except that this one will have the disc jockey asking your girlfriend to marry you. A good follow-up is to call her while the question is being asked.
If you want to be more personal, you can also ask your girl to marry you live on the air.

14. Take me out to the ball game
Bringing your girlfriend to a Yankees game might not be the most fulfilling experience for her. But just imagine her expression if during the Lucky 7th inning intermission, the stadium big screen is focused on you on one knee asking her to marry you.
This is a great way to have 20,000 people witness your display of love, which is a nice gesture in itself.

This list is by no means exhaustive; people are coming up with new and innovative ways to propose every day. Whichever way you choose, remember, the only thing you have to worry about afterwards is whether or not she'll say "yes".

signs she likes you

2006-11-02T08:06:00.000+11:00

If the girl you are with is interested in you, she will exhibit certain signs of attraction and arousal. Each little mannerism, for example the sparkle in her eyes, her tone of voice, her body language should be taken into consideration when trying to decide if the lady you are with is genuinely interested in you.

Signs Of Arousal

Wide, easy smiles accompanied with a relaxed face. She blushes frequently and her skin tone become redder.

She maintains eye contact throughout and her pupils are dilated (they become larger). She would often blink more frequently than usual and her eye lashes flutter. You might even notice a sparkle in her eye. The eyes are windows to the soul and are one of the most accurate ways of telling if she is attracted to you.

Subconscious biting of the lips or showing of the tongue, wetting her lips or even chewing her fingernails.

While talking, she is slowly stroking her cocktail glass (or any cylindrical object) up and down with her thumb and index finger. (reveals what she is thinking of, if you get my meaning) She might also be fiddling with her jewelry.

She starts sitting up and her arms aren't limp. If her crossed leg is pointing in your general direction and rocking back and forth.

She adjusts the tone and pitch of her voice to match yours. In fact, any sigh that she is mimicking you can be taken as a sign of interest. For example, laughing in unison or crossing her legs if you've crossed yours.

She winks at you in the middle of a conversation or even from a distance. This means she really is interested in you. Even exposing the palms of her hand facing you show that she might be interested in you as it has been proven to be a subconscious sign telling you that she has nothing to hide.

She twirls her hair around her fingers or perhaps strokes her hair lightly with her hand while maintaining eye contact.

pick up lines

2006-11-02T01:30:00.001+11:00

Do you believe in love at first sight, or should I walk by again?

If I said you had a great body, would you hold it against me?

Do you know how much a polar bear weighs?(No.) Enough to break the ice. Hi my name's (_____)

Can I buy you a drink or do you just want the money?

Are those space pants? Cuz your ass is out of this world!

Do you have a mirror in your pocket? (Why?) 'Cause I could see myself in your pants.

(Use index finger to call her over, then ask) "do you always cum when you're fingered?"

True, there are a lot of fish in the sea, but you're the only one I'd like to catch and mount back at my place.

Nice Shoes. Wanna fuck?

How about you sit on my lap and we'll talk about the first thing that pops up?

Screw me if I'm wrong, but haven't we met before?

Screw me if I'm wrong, but isn't your name Lindsey?

I admit, I'm kind of a geek by day... But a sex machine by night!

You have been very naughty! Go to my room!

Let's do breakfast tomorrow. Should I call you or nudge you?

Do you sleep on your stomach? No.Can I?

Can I flirt with you?

Be unique and different, say yes.

I'm fighting the urge to make you the happiest woman on earth tonight.

Excuse me, but I DO think it's time we met.

Do you wash your pants with Windex? Because I can really see myself in them.

Are you from Tennessee? Because you are the only ten I see

If I were a fly, I'd be all over you, because you're the shit!

Wow, you with those curves, and me with no brakes ...

Damn girl, you have more curves than a race track.

That outfit looks good on you ... but it would look a lot better in a crumpled heap next to my bed.

How would you like your eggs tomorrow morning? Scrambled or fertilized?

I may not be Fred Flinstone but I can sure make your bed-rock!

Let's bypass all this bullshit and just get naked.

Girl, you must be tired 'cause you've been running through my mind all day!

Hi, my name's {name}. Remember it, you'll be screaming it later tonight!

My name is {name}, but you can call me anything at all. Just call me.

If I were to ask you for sex, would your answer be the same as the answer to this question?

If your left leg is Thanksgiving and your right leg is Christmas, can I visit you in between the holidays?

I wish you were a screen door so I could slam you all day long.

Let's go to my place and do the things I'll tell all my friends that we did anyway.

What do you say we go back to my room and do some math: Add a bed, subtract our clothes, divide your legs, and multiply.

You: Have I shown you my magic watch? It tells me that you're not wearing any underwear ...Girl: Nice try, I am wearing underwear. You: Shoot ... It must be an hour fast.

Erection Problems - Treatment

2006-11-01T23:08:00.000+11:00

Alternative Names:
Erectile dysfunction; Impotence; Sexual dysfunction - male

Home Care:
For many men, lifestyle changes can help:

Cut down on smoking, alcohol, and illegal drugs.
Get plenty of rest and take time to relax.
Exercise and eat a healthy diet to maintain good circulation.
Use safe sex practices, which reduces fear of HIV and STDs.
Talk openly to your partner about sex and your relationship. If you are unable to do this, counseling can help.

Couples who cannot talk to each other are not likely to be able to make love to each other. Men who have trouble communicating their feelings may find it difficult to share with their partner any anxieties about their sexual performance. If you keep worries to yourself, you are more likely to lose erections. Men who cannot express and resolve feelings of anger or frustration towards their partner may hold back their erection as a weapon in the conflict. In these circumstances, counseling can be very helpful for both you and your partner.

If erection problems seem to be caused by a medication you are taking for an unrelated condition, consult your doctor. You may benefit from reducing the dose of the drug or changing to another drug that has the same result but not the same side effects. DO NOT adjust or discontinue medications without consulting your doctor first.

Talk to your health care provider if your erection problems are related to fear of recurring heart problems -- sexual intercourse is usually safe in these circumstances.

Call your doctor if:

Self-care measures do not resolve the problem and you continue having difficulty with erections. Effective treatments are available.
You suspect that a medication is causing the problem.
The problems begin after an injury or prostate surgery.
You have other symptoms like low back pain, abdominal pain, or change in urination.

Call your doctor immediately or go to an emergency room if medication for erection problems give you an unwanted erection that lasts more than an hour. Permanent impotence or other lasting damage to your penis may result from this condition.

What to expect at your health care provider's office:

Your doctor will perform a physical examination, which will likely include checking your circulation, a rectal exam, a neurological exam, and an exam of your penis.

To help diagnose the cause of the problem, your doctor will ask medical history questions, such as:

Have you been able to achieve and maintain erections in the past?
Is the difficulty in achieving erections or maintaining the erection?
Do you have erections during sleep?
How long have you had difficulty with erections?
What medications are you taking (including prescription medications, over-the-counter medications, recreational drugs)?
Do you smoke? How much each day?
Do you use alcohol? How much?
Have you recently had surgery?
Have you ever had vascular surgery or other treatments for your blood vessels?
Are you depressed?
Are you afraid or worried about something?
Are you experiencing a lot of stress?
Has your energy level decreased?
Are you sleeping well each night?
Are you afraid of sexual activity because of physical problems?
Have there been any recent changes in your life?
What other symptoms do you have?
Have you noticed changes in sensations in your penis?
Do you have any problems with urination?

Tests that may be performed include:

Urine analysis
Blood tests
Penile ultrasound (to evaluate for blood vessel or blood flow problems)
Nocturnal penile tuemscence (NPT) to test if you are having nighttime erections and rigidity monitoring (Rigiscan)
Neurological testing
Psychometric testing

TREATMENT

The treatment depends on the cause. For example, if the problem is caused by a hormonal imbalance, medication to treat the underlying endocrine disorder will be prescribed. Consult your health care provider for appropriate evaluation and management.
There are many treatment options today. These include medication, injections into the penis, vacuum devices, and surgery including penis implants. In order to treat erectile dysfunction effectively, you must be aware of and comfortable with the possible side-effects and complications that may occur with each therapy.
Sildenafil (Viagra) is an oral medication for mild to moderate erection difficulties of either physical or psychological origin. Sexual stimulation (visual, verbal, or tactile) is usually required to initiate an erection. Although sildenafil has become extremely popular, it is not a "cure-all," it is not an aphrodiasiac (that is, it does not enhance sexual desire) nor does it enahnce erections if you are not impotent, and it DOES have side effects. DO NOT order it online or otherwise use this medication without having seen a doctor in person. Sildenafil should not be used at the same time as certain other medications.
Men who take nitroglycerin for a heart condition (as either tablets, spray, or patches) should NOT take sildenafil. The two medicines, when combined, can significantly lower blood pressure. Some men have died from combining sildenafil and nitroglycerin.
Since Viagra appeared on the market, a newer drug called vardenafil (Levitra) has been approved, and other new drugs are in development.
If oral medication does not work, various patches or injectable medications (injected into the penis directly with a needle) are available. Testosterone may be prescribed by either skin patch or injection, especially if the problem is related to age. Alprostadil, injected at the penis or inserted as pellets, improves blood flow like sildenafil, but less is absorbed into the blood stream. Therefore, it may have fewer side effects.
For some patients, a vacuum pump or penile implant may be recommended.
Consult your health care provider to see if one of these treatments is right for you.

Erection Problems

2006-11-01T22:49:00.001+11:00

Definition:
An erection problem is the inability to get or maintain an erection that is firm enough for a man to have intercourse. You may be unable to get an erection at all, or you may lose the erection during intercourse before you are ready. If the condition persists, the medical term is erectile dysfunction.

Alternative Names:
Erectile dysfunction; Impotence; Sexual dysfunction - male

Considerations:
Erection problems are common in adult men. In fact, almost all men experience occasional difficulty getting or maintaining an erection. In many cases, it is a temporary condition that will go away with little or no treatment. In other cases, it can be an ongoing problem that can damage a man's self esteem and harm his relationship with his partner, and thus requires treatment.

If you have difficulty having or keeping an erection more than 25% of the time, it is considered a problem.

In the past, erection problems were thought to be "all in the man's mind." Men often were given unhelpful advice such as "don't worry" or "just relax and it will take care of itself." Today, doctors believe that when the problem is not temporary or does not go away on its own, physical factors are often the cause.

One way to know if the cause is physical or psychologic is to determine if you are having nighttime erections. Normally, men have 3 to 5 erections per night, each lasting up to 30 minutes. Your doctor can explain a test to find out if you are having the normal number of nighttime erections.

In most men, erection difficulties do not affect their sex drive.

Premature ejaculation (when orgasm comes on too quickly) is not the same as impotence. Together with your partner, you should seek counseling for this problem, which is usually due to psychological factors.

Male infertility is also quite different from impotence. A man who is unable to maintain an erection may be very capable of producing sperm that could fertilize an egg. An infertile man is usually able to maintain an erection, but he may be unable to father a child due to problems with sperm count or other factors.

Common Causes:
An erection requires the interaction of your brain, nerves, hormones, and blood vessels. Anything that interferes with the normal process can become a problem. Common causes include:

Diseases and conditions such as diabetes, high blood pressure, heart or thyroid conditions, poor circulation, low testosterone, depression, spinal cord injury, nerve damage (for example, from prostate surgery), or neurologic disorders (like multiple sclerosis or Parkinson's disease)
Certain medications such as blood pressure medication (especially beta-blockers), heart medication (such as digoxin), some peptic ulcer medications, sleeping pills, and antidepressants
Nicotine, alcohol, or cocaine
Stress, fear, anxiety, or anger
Unrealistic sexual expectations, which make sex a task rather than a pleasure
Poor communication with your partner
A "vicious cycle" of doubt, failure, or negative communication that reinforces the erection problems

Erection problems tend to become more common as you age, but it can affect men at any age and at any time in their lives. Physical causes are more common in older men, while psychological causes are more common in younger men.